WE ARE NOT RACISTS, BIGGOTS OR HOMOPHOBES...

OUR MISSION IS SIMPLE: TO DESTROY POLITICAL CORRECTNESS AND PRESERVE FREE SPEECH!


WOMEN'S SHIRTS
CRACK OF DAWN BEER DRINKING
Well, motherfuckers. In with the new, out with the fuckin' old. We woke up a few weeks ago after another successful 365-day-long trip around the Sun, and 2010 brings a whole new batch of opportunities for us to kick ass and take names, baby.

Foul Mouth Shirts is exploding so fast, that it'll take off your fingers like a misfiring firecracker. This brand new fucking year is going to hold alot of good shit coming straight at you from the Foul Mouth Fucks here at the helm of this bad-ass freight train that we like to call Foul Mouth Shirts.

The Holiday Season is always a big time for Foul Mouth Shirts, and we've been busy as fuck pumping out all the shit you fuckers order in time for Christmas. We did a pretty god-damned good job, if I say so myself, but our duties yanked us all away from you fuckers. We didn't forget about you, I promise. We're back now, and we're ready to kick this shit off right.

We thought about making some company resolutions, but then we decided "FUCK THAT". New Year's resolutions are just a shitty tradition of coming up with shit that you never intend to do. We've decided to make some declarations of intent, instead. That shit sounds official as fuck, and surely we could never back down from something as fuckin' official-sounding as "Declarations of Intent", could we? Fuck no. That'd be lame.

Foul Mouth Shirts will be more offensive and insane than ever before this year. That's right, motherfucker. You thought it couldn't get much worse than "Jesus is Coming, Open Your Mouth?" or "Fuck The Police"? Well, you're fuckin' wrong. We'll never let ourselves get too satisfied and we'll never EVER think, "Hey...I think we've pissed off enough people now. Maybe we should back off the intensity a bit." Fuck that. The only thing soft about us is our flaccid dick after we get done face-banging your mommy. We'll leave cute pop-culture shit to our competition. They seem to have cutesy cartoon spoofs down pretty good. Foul Mouth Shirts will stick to the grimy, dirty work of pissing everyone off and ending political correctness.

Foul Mouth Radio will continue getting more and more bad-ass. We started doing the radio show almost 2 years ago now, and we were rank amateurs at it who were just out to have fun. Now that we see how much everyone loves the radio show, we're going to turn that shit up to the max and crank out some more hilarious shit for you motherfuckers to dig your teeth into. We've gotten pretty damned good at putting on a pretty damned good radio show, and we aint about to let our loyal Foul Mouth Fucks down out there with some weak-ass shows. Expect us to only get better with each show, fuckers, because we sure as shit don't plan on getting worse. We'll also be running the "Listen to our Shit" contest, where you could win 25 free shirts if we announce your Myspace Display Name and you contact us before the next show airs. Pretty fuckin' generous, yeah? I thought so too.

You can expect our undivided fucking attention in 2010. We know who signs our paychecks, and it aint The Foul One. It's you guys. We wouldn't be as big and fuckin' popular as we are today without a community of Foul Mouth Fucks out there with there fists in the air. We need every last one of you motherfuckers who know what Freedom of Speech is all about to rally around us and help us show all of those sheep out there who the Big Bad Wolves really are. If you guys post a comment or message us, we will do the best we can to respond to you guys. You fuckers help pay our bills, and you deserve our ear when you speak. We'll cut the fucking thing off and mail it to you, if that's what you sick fucks want. I don't give a fuck, I'm fuckin' CRAZY.

Keep your fuckin' eyes peeled for contests and special offers all through 2010. If you fuckers didn't notice, we ran a New Years special for 4 shirts for the price of 2, which was a special "thank you" to all of you Myspace fuckers out there who made our year so good. We'll be doing more shit like that all year long, so keep your eyes peeled for it. We'll also be running Sticker Titties 2 soon, so all of you sore losers out there can get a second chance at winning big money and prizes from your best pals at Foul Mouth Shirts. We have other contests for free shit brewing in our dirty, evil minds...so keep coming back to us for your chance to win lots of free shit. Fuck, we even give out free shirts for the best, crudest, funniest comments that we get. Ask any of the fuckers who have won tons of shit from us over and over again, an they'll tell you all about it.

It's time for you loyal motherfuckers to spread the word about us to the people who you know are worthy of joining us. We want interaction with everyone, and our fuckin' word will be HEARD, motherfucker! We're not just some t-shirt company on the Web anymore. We're the voice for every last one of you assholes who feels like no one relates. Surprise, shit-head! WE relate, and so do most of the other social rejects out there who flock to our banner. Tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell your mom...fuck, tell your mom's mom. If they don't love us, tell 'em to fuck off. If they do, than they're just as welcome as everyone else in helping us to tell the world to FUCK OFF and leave us alone!

Welcome to 2010, ye loyal members of the Foul Mouth Empire. Get ready to be fucked