(RETURN TO ALL HATE MAIL)

------Original Hate Mail------

From: Denny

Dear FMS,

You guys are awesome, and I've bought lots of shit from you. I bought a new shirt from you that says Total Fucking Badass. I wanted to tell you a story that happened when I was wearing it. I wore it to a bar, and alot of people liked it and commented on it all night long. These two big guys came in towards close-time and they started making fun of me. Those fuckers thought it was funny as shit that I was wearing a shirt that says Total Fucking Badass. They kept picking on me and my two friends until I got in their faces. They totally kicked my fucking ass! You should send a pair of brass knuckles, or something, with that shirt when you sell it.

Love you fuckers!

Our Response:
I don't mean to sound like an asshole, Denny, but don't you think another shirt selection would have been a better choice? I mean...it sounds like you're not really a "Total Fucking Badass". Just a suggestion, dude, cause we're not sending any fucking weapons to our customers. We're on enough watch-lists as it is. Shut the fuck up, and kick some ass.

-FMS