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| Here's our God-Damned Hate-Mail Page. Thanks for the fucking toilet paper, dipshits. We've gone a long, long time getting scores and scores of hate-mail and doing absolutely fuck-all with it. We read that shit, laugh at it, and then delete the shit. Recently, we decided that our loyal Foul Mouth Fucks would love to see the fucked up e-mails we get all the time. Every week, we'll pick out the most retarded letters and post those fuckers up here with our e-mail responses. We've decided that these people who e-mail us deserve to be told how fucking dumb they are. Without further delay, Foul Mouth Fucks, here's your god-damned Hate-Mail! |
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------Original Hate Mail------ From: Becky Big-Tits Hey! I was lookin thru your webpages and I found one for girls who wear stickers on they boobies for you and you put they pictures up, right? I wanna do that 2! I wanna be a STICKER TITTY GIRL! I got some HUGE titties! Do you guys sell shirts 2? I love t-shirts? Do you like to fuck? I LOVE fuckin! It's my fvrite! If you guys live near Atlanta, we should totally party! You can come down here and hang out. We can get some powder and get all fucked up and do nasty things 2 each other! You can take pictures of me 2! For the STICKER TITTY GIRLS! YAY! I want 2 be a model! Our Response: Oh my dear fucking GOD! Where the fuck do you fucking people come from? It can't be Earth. You can't be fuckin' human. I dig that you have some big ass titties, and you may not even have a butter-face. Fuck, you may be hot as fuck. We just need you to be less...well, less of whatever the fuck it is you are. The Sticker Titty Girls represent the Foul Mouth Brand to thousands of horny dudes out there, and we can't have your spastic ass scaring them off. It's not that I wouldn't totally enjoy seeing your tits...I'm just kind of scared of you. Maybe we should just...not email each other anymore. Shut the fuck up and quit freaking me out. -FMS From: 1st Amendment Hater I am an American Citizen, and I am proud to live in the United States of America. I appreciate my freedoms and my job and my lifestyle. Saying that, I would like to urge your company to monitor yourselves more appropriately. Just because you have a mouth, and you know a modern language, does not mean you should say every single thing that pops into your miniscule brains...or turn it into a mass-produced product like a t-shirt, for that matter. We are civilized human beings, and we must show restraint. We must monitor ourselves to make certain that we are delivering a message of intelligence to our neighbors and to the rest of the world. I am not writing of censorship, but of responsibilities. Our Response: Wow. Okay. So, this is probably the most profound argument against what we do that we've ever seen. I must add that it is EXTREMELY refreshing to see someone write us who can use some decent grammer and spelling. I hope I can offer my rebuttal as eloquently as your email did. Here it goes: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! Was that pretty enough for you, fucker? Who the fuck are you to chide us like we're your fuckin' children? We're grown-ass men, motherfucker! We run this fuckin' business like a well-oiled machine! Dumb people can't do that shit, so don't presume to speak to us as if we were, asshole. Shut the fuck up and stick your "responsibility" up your tight ass! -FMS From: Joey Fatnuts please. when i was 11 or 12 maybe, i mean really, how do you fuckin live with your lame ass child rebel bullshit self. you should join the rest of em and get on jerry springer, for employment. its no fuckin wonder why no real human can make a living any more, make a t shirt thats says that you are "the world destroyin assholes" and i'll buy it but you have to put your personal info on the t shirt cause you are never gonna admit "you" are the asshole, just like a typical loser. have another one. Our Response: What in the unholy fuck are you talking about, dude? I think you've just won. You've won the Most Inane, Incomprehensible Hate-Mail We've Ever Received Award. This shit is as close to an Epic Fail as you can get without actually hurting yourself. I'm not even sure how the fuck you could hurt yourself while writing an email, but I bet your dumbshit-self can figure it out. When it comes to being a dumbfuck, you certainly think outside the box. That's why you win. Congratulations. All I can get from this fuckin' thing is that we're the cause of unemployment and that we're going to somehow destroy the world, and that we should wear t-shirts while we do it. Oh. That's actually the grand plan, though. I don't know how you figured that shit out, Joey, but I'm starting to think that you're the "Inspector Gadget" to our "Dr. Claw." Don't even think about trying to stop us, fucker. We're way to powerful. What the fuck did you mean "have another one"? I'm so fucking confused. I can't tell you to "shut the fuck up" enough without seeming repetitive...so you're going to have to pretend that I typed it 4 million times. (Shut the fuck up) X (3.9 Million) = Not Enough. FMS From: Bloody Pussymouth McGee I threw up so hard when I saw the picture you guys have to model the "I'm going to eat your period pussy until I get clown mouth". Oh god. I just ate and I couldn't help it. You do gross things too much. There's a difference between gross and funny. you gotta figure that out soon. I won't be eating before I look at your site again. Too gross. Our Response: Oh, fuck! I know this isn't really hate mail. I can tell that you got off a little bit on throwing up like that, sort of like as if you were a Japanese porn star. Throwing up is just another type of foreplay. So,you're welcome for that. We can't take that picture down, I'm afraid. I had to eat WAY too much bloody pussy before we got enough on my face for the film shoot. It was a bad day to release that shirt, because the 50 year old Hispanic lady who cleans our bathrooms was the only chick around who was menstruating, and thusly the only pussy I had to eat...and she only had a very slight flow. I had to really get in there to get her gushing enough to get blood on my face. The key to eating a bloody pussy is to NOT SWALLOW. Once you feel a blood clot going down your throat, it sort of kills the mood. Shut the fuck up and eat some pussy, motherfucker! FMS From: Rapey McRapesman LOL! just the tip champion is a freakin awesome shirt. I had to write you cause of something that happened to me not to long ago. it was really awesome. i was at a small party where this chick who i have liked forever was at and she got SO DRUNK! when she passed out i put the head of my dick in her mouth tosee if she would suckon it in her sleep and she TOTALLY DID! LOL! this super-model-hot chick was just suckin on the head of my dick while she was passed out! it was nuts! anyway.......great shirt. i gotta get one cause i am the JUST THE TIP CHAMPION, right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Our Response: Oh no. You stuck your fuckin' weiner in a chick's mouth while she was drunk and passed out? I really hate to be the fucker to tell you this, but, that shit aint really cool, man. That's what we grown-ups like to call a "dick move". It's also kinda called "rape" amongst some official groups...like the police and shit. Sticking your filthy, pink dick in a chick's mouth while she's drunk does NOT make you the Just The Tip Champion. No, sir. It makes you a fuckin' raping asshole. Just because I'm going to use this scenario to fuel my sexual fantasies, doesn't make it right. I'm afraid I can't sell you this shirt because you're a fuckstick. No shirt for you, you fucking rapist. Now quit sticking your dick in sleeping girls and shut the fuck up. -FMS From: White Power Fucker I don't understand what your company is doing. I feel like you guys have some shit that you sell that really speaks to me and makes me think you sympathize with the Aryan Cause but then I see other shit on your page that makes me think youre making fun of us. You cant have shirts on your page that make fun of black history month and then have a shirt that says "Gay Nazis For Christ". You cant have that shit. I can guarantee that there are no gay nazis...especially none I know, so that shirt is just bullshit. If you want to support us, then make sure you don't have other shit that makes it look like you making fun of us. Our Response: Oh, you silly little shaven-headed white man. The worst fuckin' mistake you could make is to think that we're racist fucks like you. We are NOT racist, fucker! If we have a shirt that makes fun of blacks, chinks, jews, wetbacks, and Canadians, it's because that shit is funny and a bit shocking. That's why we're going to make fun of you too. We make fun of EVERYONE! We like being funny and shocking. It's gotten us pretty fucking far already. If there's a social code of conduct, then we're going to wipe our beautiful asses with it. Why? Because it's fucking fun and because we CAN. We take full advantage of our Freedom of Speech, and we think anyone who doesn't is a dumb asshole. The establishment persists all around us, making people think that people's silly little emotions are more important than saying whatever you want, whenever the fuck you want to say it. Fuck your feelings, faggot. Shut the fuck up and get back to watching The Dukes of Hazard. -FMS From: Judas I was a steady customer for you guys for almost two years straight, but I had to start getting my shirts from (omitted sue-happy t-shirt company) because everything you put out now is too offensive for me to wear. jesus chirst, guys! tone it down a little! its like you just want to keep trying to see how far over the line you can jump before someone gets pissed and says something. well im saying something! stop it if you want my business! Our Response: AW! Poor wittle guy! You had to buy your shirts from somewhere else because we got too hardcore for your sweet, little ass? That's a damn shame. I fucking hate that for you. But...considering that sales are through the fucking roof and we don't miss your business at all, you can go ram a pinecone up your ass. I give two shits and a fuck about your delicate sensibilities, pussyface. You just made me realize that we don't need to jump over the line...we need to kick dirt all over the line, drop trousers, and shit all over it. Fuck pussies like you! Thanks for all your money from before, though. That was awesome. Hope you like your shirts, and go ahead and shut the fuck up. -FMS From: Fat Fuck Who Fucks Fat Sluts I ordered a shirt from you guys for my wife and myself. It doesn't fit her at all. Mine fits just fine, but do you have anything over a 5XL for my wife? I'd like to return this for a larger size. Thanks! Our: Response HOLY FUCKING SHIT! For real?!? Your wife can't wear a 5XL? How the fuck do you find her pussy, man? It sounds like that would be an all-day-affair kind of thing...like a trip to the zoo. Why does she even need a fucking t-shirt? Isn't she bed-ridden, or whatever? Do you have to turn her with a forklift to keep her from getting bedsores? I'm telling you right now, man...as a friend...you should probably leave that fat whore. We'll refund your money for the shirt. Don't send it back, though. I'm sure you tried to squeeze it over her fat head and it's got her fat-funk all over it. Just burn it, empty your bank account, and run away to Canada. She won't be able to chase you, I promise. Shut the fuck up and...just...fuck, I'm lost for words. -FMS From: NSFW Guy I really enjoy coming to your website and browsing through all the awesome stuff you guys have. I work at a really strict place of work and I can't get on at work anymore. It really sucks bad because I like the Captain Cuntbuster and Cannon Show a lot. I can't look at the Sticker Titty Girls either. It really really sucks. I hate my job so much. Do you have a version of the website thats safe for work? Please help. Our Response: Alright, buddy. You seem like a genuine fucking fan of our shit, so I'll help you out. Here's my advice: GET ANOTHER FUCKING JOB! Fuck your job, dude. Fuck the recession. Delivering pizza is better then whatever the fuck it is you're doing now. Fuck any job that censors you and keeps you from enjoying your goddamn day with a little obscene humor. As long as your get your work done, they shouldn't give a fuck what you're listening to. Punch your boss in the face and tell him to shut the fuck up for me. Thanks. -FMS From: Jesus Lover #4,342,689 Jesus loves you. I hope one day Jesus' light shines into you and fills you with the warmth of his love. God bless you. Our Response: Excuse me, Jesus freak, but I don't want Christ to fill me with warm love. That sounds pretty fucking gay. It also sounds like it would be a bitch to clean up. For future reference, please refrain from trying to set me up with any of your gay friends...including this Mexican dude named Jesus. I'm sure he's a very nice person, but I don't like cock...never have, and never will. Try to let Jesus down easy. I really hate hurting people's feelings, but I'm just not fucking interested. Shut the fuck up and pray for my soul. -FMS From: A Dirty Nagger I am dropping out of your fucking mailing list today because of your shitty, racist bullshit. Everyone has seen this stupid fucking joke before, so I don't even know why you are rehashing it. I keep waiting and waiting for you to realize that what your doing isn't "free speech". It's just lame fucking jokes designed to piss people off. That's not free speech. That's hate. You are merchants of hate. Good job. Our response: Oh my dear God. You are so fucking right, dude. We are merchants of hate. I have seen the error of our ways and I dedicate all of our resources from this day forward to making shirts with butterflies and kittens and shit all over them. We'll call it, "Butterflies-and-Kittens-And-Shit.com" and we'll sell so many fucking shirts because everyone wants a butterfly or kitten on their shirt. Well, actually, only whiney faggots like you want butterflies and kittens. So I guess we won't be selling shirts with sweet shit all over them after all. If more fags bought shirts, then we would gear our product towards whiney faggots. Since they don't, we'll just keep selling shirts to all the bad motherfuckers out there who want to say whatever the fuck they want whenever the fuck they want. And for your fucking information: what we do IS freedom of speech. Just because you don't like what we're saying doesn't mean it shouldn't be free. Fuck you and shut the fuck up, you limp-dick nagger. -FMS From: Senator Fuckface To Whom It May Concern: After this office recently received several emails from a prominent church in my home district, I felt it was my responsibility to research the issue at hand in order to better communicate with the constituency of our district. What I found upon my research was disturbing, to say the least. This email is meant as a courtesy calling to alert you that the eye of the United States government is now upon you. You would be best advised to clean up your image or risk the involvement of all the power I can bear against you. You have now been warned. Signed, (Some Douchebag Senator) Our Response: Oh REALLY? A Senator? From the real-life government!?! Oh GOD, we're DOOMED! Dude, seriously. Your email address doesn't have a ".gov" anywhere in it. In fact, your email address is from a fucking CHURCH! I'm sure you Bible-thumping kid-touchers did everything you could to get your local senator to pay attention to your lame little squeals of unhappiness. I'm also pretty sure you all got courtesy letters written by Senate Aides that all said the same damn thing: "Thank you bringing this matter to my attention, dear sirs and/or madaams. We will look into this matter with all the haste of God and His Angelic Host. Don't forget to vote! For me!" Whatever. I'm sure I'm not too far off the mark, right? Keep trying to get your government officials to shut us down, and you'll one day realize that THEY CAN'T FUCKING TOUCH US! We're protected by Free Speech, bitches! Fucking Joe Biden's offices bought shit from us, AND President-Elect Obama's Press secretary bought some shirts from us during their campaign! It sounds like the elected officials you're trying to get after us have better senses of humor then YOU do. Shut the fuck up and suck on my Freedom Stick! -FMS From: Yankee Asshole I just wanted to tell you that you guys would be really cool if you didn't have all of that redneck shit on your website. I don't know why you have all of this awesome shit and then you have stuff for ignorant rednecks too. What's up with that? Our Response: You dumb, yankee fuck! What makes you think that every person in the South is a fucking redneck? Am I a goddamn redneck? Fuck no, I'm not. What makes you think that everyone who has Southern Pride is ignorant? That fucking statement right there shows what an ignorant fuck YOU are. We run this fucking company how we want, and if you don't like it you can go buy shit from one of those softcore t-shirt companies out there. We don't give a fuck, man! We make plenty of cash from fuckers who don't give a shit about our Southern Shirt selection and from the "rednecks" that buy them, so FUCK YOU. We have Southern Shirts because some people (dumb shits like you) find them offensive. We carry Southern Shirts because some people out there wear them with pride, and we're all about giving people a voice to say whatever the fuck they want to say...so shut the fuck up. -FMS From: Foul Mouth Radio Hater Oh, what the hell? I've listened to your radio show twice now. Once because it looked like it might be funny, and once again just to make sure that I hadn't made a mistake and you three dillweeds were as stupid as I thought you were. The whole show just seemed like a penis-size contest with how much Cuntbuster and Cannon talk about sex, and "Melons" is just a slut. Your unprofessionalism is a joke. Stick to the t-shirts and leave Internet radio for people who give a crap about what they're doing. Our Response: Oh, you little fucking shithead! We have the best fucking Internet Radio show out there, and you're a dumbfuck for not recognizing it. No, we don't sound like everyone else's shows...and that's a fucking good thing. We come from a place that emphasizes that we say whatever the fuck we want whenever the fuck we want to say it. Considering that you're the only email that we've ever gotten that says we suck, I'm going to have to kindly disagree with you and formally request that you suck the dried cum off the end of my dickhole. You hurt Melons feelings, too! Now she's going to develop a complex that makes her not to want to suck random cock at parties. You've done wicked harm here, asshole. Shut the fuck up and go listen to some shitty show. -FMS (CLICK
HERE TO COMMENT ON THIS ASSHOLE'S LETTER)
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From: Palin's Support This has been a long, trying road for us during this presidential run for the White House. Many ups and downs have come during these past few months, and everyone that I know has been weathering the political storm. We all knew that Hillary was a poor choice for president, and I believe that the democratic voters did well to keep her out of the race. I was proud, though, because she was a woman and she had done so well getting to where she was without the help of a trustworthy man. Now we have Sarah Palin involved, who is not only a woman but a Republican too! I am so proud to be a woman. My question is this: what gives you the right to bring this woman down in such a way? You have taken everything away from her that she's accomplished as Governer of Alaska and turned her into nothing more then another pop-icon sex symbol. Good job, foulmouthshirts.com. Way to prove what pigs you really are. Signed, Palin Supporter. Our Response: Here we fucking go again. Another lady who thinks that her pussy doesn't stink. Another fucking chick who thinks that women should be immune to jokes and public scrutiny just because she has a fucking vagina. Why would you say that we're pigs? I fucking LOVE Sarah Palin. She's so fucking...smart, or something. She has such large...ambitions. I can't help it that she's hot as fuck, lady. She knew what she looked like when she accepted the offer of the Vice Presidency, and McCain knew what she looked like when he asked. She's fucking eye-candy and nothing more. McCain needed someone black or someone with a vagina, and he figures Sarah Palin is most likely canidate not to get in his fuckin way if he becomes President. If I want to think of Palin as a sex symbol, then there's no one who can fucking stop me. Shut the fuck up and let me enjoy my fantasies. -FMS (CLICK
HERE TO COMMENT ON THIS ASSHOLE'S LETTER)
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From: Underwood Fan I am a HUGE Carrie Underwood fan, and I support her decision to appreciate animals as neighbors on our earth and not as products. She is a beautiful person, even voted as PETA's sexiest vegetarian of the year for two years in a row! Saying all of that, I think that you don't really have to eat meat to be a "Real Girl". Real girls know how to treat living things: with love, respect, and adoration. You should have a shirt too that says something like "Real Girls Eat Veggies". That would be so cool. I would buy that in a heartbeat. Our Response: Oh, you silly little veggie-eating twat. This is a t-shirt site that deals in offensive material. Saying that, who the FUCK do you think is going to buy a shirt that says "Real Girls Eat Veggies"? I mean, yeah, it offends the shit out of me, but I'm a meatatarian so veggies apall the fuck out of me. Just the thought of a fucking stalk of celery makes me want to gag in revulsion. We'll have a pro-vegetarian shirt when hell freezes over and I'm ice-skating on the Lake of Fire with Hendrix and Cobain while we're eating bacon sandwiches and drinking KFC gravy. Fuck vegans. Fuck vegetarians. Fuck Carrie Underwood. Shut the fuck up. -FMS (CLICK
HERE TO COMMENT ON THIS ASSHOLE'S LETTER) .......... (VIEW COMMENTS) ------Original Hate Mail------ From: Too Much With The Guns enough with the damn guns already. yu can't keep shoving this second amendment shit down our throats all the damn time. some of us just dont think the way you do, guys, and its getting real old real quick. its justy too much with the guns, man. im not some kind of super liberal or anything, but FMS seems to just flood us with shirts about guns when you could be putting up more shirts about shit like Mcain being a total douchebag. its too much with the guns. you cant make everyone who comes to FMS buy a gun. some of us just think about it different then you. Our Response: Yeah, we get it. It's "too much with the guns". You obviously feel strongly enough about it so that you need to say the shit twice in your email. We respect how you feel about gun ownership and we also appreciate that you stop by the Foul Mouth Empire enough to see what new shirts are coming in. All of that aside, fuck you. Fuck you right up your victimized ass. In fact, I think I'd like for you to send us your address so that we can hire a big, burly, big-dicked asshole to come to your house to rape you. He'll get away with it too. Do you want to know why? He'll get away with it because you are a defenseless, weak victim. You actively make the decision to welcome strangers to come ass fuck you each day you spend without a weapon in your home to defend yourself. We have so many pro-gun shirts because we feel strongly about our 2nd Amendment Rights, and we want everyone else to as well. Enjoy your future ass-rapings and shut the fuck up. -FMS (CLICK
HERE TO COMMENT ON THIS ASSHOLE'S LETTER) .......... (VIEW COMMENTS)
------Original
Hate Mail------ Dear Sirs and Maams of www.foulmouthshirts.com: I am an officer of the law for a small county in Kansas. I have looked through your website, and I believe you owe an apology to every man and woman who serves their city as a peacekeeper and an enforcer of justice. I arrested a young man for skateboarding on city property, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct. He was wearing a t-shirt depicting a sexual act being performed on a police officer with the slogan "F**k The Police" over the art. I asked the perpetrator where he could have gotten such a shirt, and he told me he purchased it from your website. I suggest you pull that product immediately. Our Response: Oh, look. What a fucking surprise. It's a small-town cop with a fucking bully complex. Did you arrest that dude because he was skateboarding, or did you arrest him because you didn't like the way he looked? Did you just get your flak-jacket all in a bunch when you saw his shirt? I fucking bet you did, you power-tripping piece of shit. The reason we sell that fucking shirt is because of douche-bags like you. No ammount of stern emails will ever make us take a fucking thing off of our website, Officer Douche, because we don't fucking HAVE TO. It's our fucking right to say whatever the fuck we want to say whenever the fuck we want to say it. The dude you arrested is going to get off with a slap on the wrist. Does it piss you off that all you succeeded in doing was ruining his afternoon? Trivial bullshit. It's all I expect from fucks like you. Thank you for serving your city, sir. Now fuck off and shut the fuck up. -FMS (CLICK
HERE TO COMMENT ON THIS ASSHOLE'S LETTER) .......... (VIEW COMMENTS)
From: Stoppin' to Think I'M
SURE LOTS OF SICK PEOPLE BUY YOUR FILTHY SHIRTS AND THAT IS WHY YOU
KEEP PRODUCING TONS OF THIS CRAP. BUT HAVE YOU PEOPLE EVER STOPPED TO
THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO THE WORLD? MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING. Our Response:
It makes me stop and think? What the fucking fuck, man? Of COURSE it
makes me stop and think. I stop and think everytime we sell one of those
awesome fucking shirts that you're bitching about. I stop and think
how fucking cool it is that there are people out there like us who say
whatever the fuck they want, whenever the fuck they want to say it.
You're god-damn right. Money ISN'T everything. Sometimes it's just fucking
good enough to know that I'm helping to change the world just a little
bit. Sometimes it's good enough to know that we inspire people to break
away from what is "normal" and "innocent." If your
weren't such a self-righteous douche, you'd realize that no one is innocent.
We're all sinners, baby. Some of us just enjoy more then others. Shut
the fuck up and suck my balloon-knot. (CLICK
HERE TO COMMENT ON THIS ASSHOLE'S LETTER) .......... (VIEW COMMENTS)
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Cruisin' the Web I
was cruising the web the other day when I stumbled upon your website.
I immediately noticed the half naked woman on your website with stickers
that say FUCK YOU. Well that is what this email is all about. Me giving
whoever works for this disgusting website a big FUCK YOU! How dare you
contribute to degradation of women and society. You have shirts that
glorify sex and rape ANAL RAPE i might add. Our Response:
HAHAHAHAHAHA! You fuckin' said anal rape.
That's pretty Goddamn awesome. I'd ask you what fucking shirt you're
talking about, but I'd really prefer never to have to hear from your
dumb fucking ass again. What the fuck kind of problem do you have with
half-naked bitches? Half-naked bitches are what makes the the world
go 'round, lady! It's not like these chicks are being held at gunpoint,
or anything. They're doing it for the GLORY and the CASH! They're doing
it because they love Foul Mouth Inc. They're doing it because they like
the idea of a bunch of dudes staring at their awesome boobs. Hell, I
have a good idea! Why don't YOU send in some sticker-titties? We could
use some saggy old-lady tits to make the other chicks look even hotter
in comparison. Shut the fuck up and get naked already. (CLICK
HERE TO COMMENT ON THIS ASSHOLE'S LETTER) .......... (VIEW COMMENTS)
------Original Hate Mail------ From: ANOTHER fucking concerned mommy Dear Rude Foul People, as a mother of 5 children, one of which that is physically hanidcap. i can't watch them all the time. so im afraid theyll be surfing the internet and find your deplorable site. your site makes me physically sick to lok at. saying evil things about gays, blacks, women, handicap people. the "retarded people make better sex slaves" shirt is absolutely disgusting and i cant believe youd say that about people. your sick and you need to be bnned from the media world -Melanie- ps. i will be notifying my church pastor of your site and we will make it our goal to take down your site Our Response: Okay,
lady....this shit's going to have to be broken up before it'll go down
the commode. -FMS (CLICK
HERE TO COMMENT ON THIS ASSHOLE'S LETTER) .......... (VIEW COMMENTS) ------Original Hate Mail------ From: Rev. Scott Dear Foul shirt company
I am really surprised that you sell shirts to permote violence and especially gun violence, I got robbed at gunpoint, and if it was up to you guys, he would have been wearing a shirt you guys make!!!! "I Knife people" how can that be entertainment, I'm just really upset, that your shirts could cause someone to hurt or even kill other people, and I think its so wrong. You guys are no different than Hitler, or the KKK or those people that carry guns in public. Shame on you guys.
Reverend Scott Our Response: Oh,
you dumb motherfucker. How dare you? How can you sit there and say that
our shirts cause people to hurt one another? I'm fucking appalled. That's
like saying that television and video games cause violence. Oh wait...you
dumb bastards DO say that. My fucking mistake. Well, listen. I'm really
super sorry that you got robbed by gunpoint. Violence against our neighbors
is an awful thing, and people like that should be kicked in the head
until they're too fucking retarded to hold a gun anymore. Of course,
if you had excercised your 2nd Amendment Right to have and bear arms,
then you would have been able to defend yourself against that asshole.
Just something to think about while your get busy shutting the fuck
up, neighbor.
From: (The following email was in response to FMS telling a frenchman that we don't ship to France. Fuck France.) What? Fuck France? Fuck YOU, American! What are you? You are not even 500 years old! You have no hisory! I was going to make $2000 purchase but FUCK YOU now, you Bush-sucking dicks! Fuck BUSH! Fuck AMERICA! Fuck YOU! France is the greatest counrty in the world! I cannot wait until you are wiped from the world when Iran drops nuclear bombs on you! Our Response:
Oh NO! You Didn't just say "fuck America"! Fuck YOU, frenchie!
You frog motherfucker, you better watch what the fuck you say, man.
That shit about America being "wiped from the world" is going
to land you on some watch-lists by the CIA, and shit. You'll go to sleep
one night, and wake up the next morning in a 7 by 4 foot cell in Cuba,
and shit, with a fucking electric probe stuck up your ass. You don't
fuck with us, man. America is so bad-ass, we'll snatch you up by the
fucking short-hairs and show you how we handle our shit. Watch your
fucking back, frogger, and shut the fuck up!
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Matthew the Fag. What is it going to take for you to stop your violence? I am partially to blame because I bought a shirt from you once which made it possible to keep your silly little company afloat. I also am guilty of coming back often to see the depravity that you sink to. Grow up and get real jobs and stop teaching children how to make people hate them. Our Response:
Dear Faggot, -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Dick-Sucking Competitor Whore hey guys.... i got two words for ya! SUCK IT!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! you guys are such losers! i love it, dude! HAHAHAHAHA! you wanna see some good shit go to (omitted because they suck) and youll see all kind of good shit, dude! they are way more awesome then you guys ever could be redneck fucks! Our Response: -FMS
From: Denny Dear FMS, You guys are awesome, and I've bought lots of shit from you. I bought a new shirt from you that says Total Fucking Badass. I wanted to tell you a story that happened when I was wearing it. I wore it to a bar, and alot of people liked it and commented on it all night long. These two big guys came in towards close-time and they started making fun of me. Those fuckers thought it was funny as shit that I was wearing a shirt that says Total Fucking Badass. They kept picking on me and my two friends until I got in their faces. They totally kicked my fucking ass! You should send a pair of brass knuckles, or something, with that shirt when you sell it. Love you fuckers! Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: razrw1re i think you guys pick on people too much. i think you guys can be really really cruel when people are just trying to give you honest-to-god-advice on how to run your business better. don't you think that its bad business to just ignore your customers and to disregard stuff they tell you when it could make things you do be so much better?!? just remember who you guys represent. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Another Gay Dude. God-damnit, guys. "I've Got Nothing Against Gay People (It's Their Faggot Friends I Can't Stand)"? That shit isn't even funny. It's a thin disguise to hide a direct assault against homosexuals. What makes it REALLY bad, is that you are pandering it to the public so that HUNDREDS of people can wear this piece of shit shirt out to bars and clubs and malls everywhere, where kids can read it and laugh. Go ahead and laugh at the funny fags, kids! It's okay! Screw you guys. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Pot Enthusiast 4/20 is not a holiday. I can't STAND you pot head fuckers. I have never seen nor bee around someone who was high who didn't irritate the shit out of me. Maybe you guys should spend less time getting stoned and more time working and being fucking productive members of society? Sounds like a good idea to me. Fuck 4/20. I won't be buying shit from you guys until after that stupid, waste of calender space non-holiday. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Illegible as Fuck i cant stpo coming here and looking at all of this filthy shit you have. i cant beleive that this is stuff people really buy!!! how do you guys make money doing this!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? you are like evil clowns that make babies cry. Our Response: -FMS
From: Captain Cuntbuster (is an assclown) Dear Cannon, You are a fat shit. Quit it. Go be fat somewhere else. Tell Cuntbuster he's awesome and he's the coolest fucking Radio guy ever. Tell him that he should start an Internet Radio Personality School to teach other people how to be awesome on the Internet. You suck, Cannon. Our Response: You suck way more than I do. Shut the fuck up and let me work. -FMS
From: Mr. Fucking Meddlesome Hatemongers and weirdos: What in the heck is wrong with you? Surfing the Internet is getting more and more dangerous as the years go by. I was just cruising through YouTube to check out videos and I came across your 4th of July fireworks show. That was pretty awesome. I dug a little deeper and watched your "Human Paint Mixer" video right after that. I'm sorry, but who ever told you that watching 6 minutes of fat people throwing up is fun to watch was WRONG and an idiot to boot. I couldn't resist, so I went to foulmouthshirts.com here and saw some of the worst shirts I've ever seen in my life. This stuff is way too cruel and mean to sell. You guys are doomed for failure. You should quit now before you ruin more than your own lives. Our Response: Fuck you and your opinion. I'm afraid
all of the hatemongers are busy right now, so you'll have to deal with
the resident weirdo at the moment. I know you are a little shocked and
in awe right now of all that the Foul Mouth Empire stands for, but you
are just going to have to get right the fuck over it. It seems to me
that our insidious plan worked. Our YouTube videos led you to the website,
and you were SUPPOSED to get over your fucking lame-assness and buy
a shirt. You didn't, though, and that makes me fucking hate you more
than you hate us...which is pretty impressive. I'm also very happy to
inform you that we are NOT doomed for failure. We are fucking awesome
and people who aren't chickenshit love us. People buy our shit by the
fucking bucket-loads. It's going to take more than your whiney horseshit
to keep us down, asshat. Shut the fuck up. -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Ball Sucking Fan Dear Foul Mouth Shirts dot com, You guys suck my balls. Sincerely, Me Our Response: No, motherfucker...suck MY balls. Send me another worthless fucking email that wastes my time, and I'll fucking corckscrew kick you in the fucking torso. When you are ready to suck my balls, send me an email to let me know that you are on the fucking way, because I'm going to fuck the nastiest skank I can find. I'm not going to bathe until you get here, either, so that my balls have a nice vinegar taste. I want to make sure you get a little something to coat your teeth when you get to sucking on my balls. Shut the fuck up, and congratulations on pissing me off enough to make it to the Hate Mail page, assclown. Your Friends, -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: No-Name Republican Fuck I am a customer who's bought a shit-load of shirts, guys. I've bought several damn pro-republican shirt you guys sell, and I love them. They're all good quality and everything. I just checked your new shirts and you guys have a shirt that says January 20, 2009 The End of an Error. Fuck you guys, Bush was the greatest President ever. He mde it to the Top 10 Presidents of all Time list, didn't he? Me Our Response: -FMS
From: Dumbest Dude Ever. who is Mike Hawk? is he an indepandant canidate? if foul mouth supports him then maybe i should too, right? HA! just joking. foul mouth shirts is awesome but you guys arnt gonna get me to vote for some no-name dude. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Republican Pissy-Pants Fuck REPUBLICANS? No...Fuck YOU, assholes! What the fuck are you doing, selling a damned shirt that has three Donkeys (democrats) gang-fucking an elephant (republican)? That shit aint cool, man. We have an election coming up, and the Republican party has enough shit to deal with without you guys making it worse. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Barack's Bitch Barack Obama is a good man. He is the only chance our country has to save itself from a horrible economic fate. I'm not asking your website to endorse Obama's political campaign, but I am asking you to take off your shirt that says "Obamanation". I thought this was a possitive shirt at first, but then I realized that you were making a play on the word "Abomination." Is he an abomination because he's black? That would be a callous thing to say, if that's what you are implying. Do something possitive for America and take this shirt off your site. Our Response: -FMS
From: Shit-Eating Debbie I love the internet radio show that you guys do, but I have oneproblem with it. For a couple of weeks, you guys jumped on the "2 Girls 1 Cup" bandwagon and stared reviewing horrible videos like that on your "Worst of the Net" segment. WTF, guys? My curiosity got the better of me and I went to the awful sites you guys reviewed and got REALLY SICK at work. Even tho I heard Cannon throwing up on the radio show, I still went there and saw what these poor women were forced to do to each other. Don't promote these horrible acts on your show. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Fuck Paranoia Time to wake up, people! The government is insane, but not as insane as you guys! You want to provoke the CIA and NSA and God knows who else into waging an all-out war against us? It's okay to speak out against the government, man, but you guys are taking it too far! As much as everybody hates Bush and wants him out of office, you can't sell shirts that say those kinds of things about him! "What's Worse For America? Drugs or Dope?" "Bush Lied and People Died?" Jesus, man. They'll shut you down for that shit! Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Rebel-Fuckin'-Pride you all are shitheads an you got no respect for us at all. we get shit from people all the damn time about the way we talk an about being from the south but you guys go to far. i saw on your internet that you have all kinds of shirts making fun of southern pride and rebel stuff. that shit aint cool, man. we got enough people talkin bad about us. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Prissy Bitch I was looking for a cool, witty tshirt with a touch of femininity but was shocked at what I found in your women's tshirts section. Your shirts aren't witty at all, just tasteless. Good luck finding a woman trashy enough to wear a shirt that says "I'm too drunk to fuck. Just lick it." Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Weed Hater Fuckbag Okay, I am fine with cussing. I am even okay with most of the sexually explicit stuff you have on your website. But all of your shirts promoting marijuanna just take it too far. I don't think you should have anything that encourages people to partake in the illegal usage of marijuanna. PERIOD. Remove all such content and you've got a pretty decent site. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Guatamalan Fucker (literally. he fucks Guatamalens) i am so sick of seeing all this anti immigrant bullshit. my wife is an immigrant from Guatamala...a LEGAL immigrant. shirts like yours promote racism and prejudice towards all people of color, legal or not. get that shit off you site. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Mommy Dearest What kind of example are you setting for children who aren't mature enough to understand the "joke"? Kids are all over the internet buying into the filth that you and others like you have on your websites. Seriously, you are the reason why I encourage everyone to write their congressmen and fight to get this brain-washing trash off the internet. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Gay Dude on a Mission I was highly offended at seeing a burning pride flag on your website. As a gay man, it disgusts me that people like you promote hate and prejudice in our society by selling sensless gay-bashing products. I am asking you to pull this tshirt from your line along with the other anti-gay slogans your company seems to think are "funny." I, for one, do not find hate funny at all. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Shit Stain I was seaching through the interweb for t-shirts, and I saw your site. I stopped and read through some of the shirts you have available. Most of them are really good, but there are a few that turn me off really bad. "Fuck The Police" and your new shirt that says "Jesus is Coming. Don't Worry, We'll Crucify Him Again" are especially bad. There are a few others that hit me the wrong way, but I'm sure you know which ones are really bad and which are okay. Take off the really bad shirts and people like me will buy from you guys. Thanks for your consideration. Our Response: P.S. - People who use the term "interweb" are shit-stains. -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: High Brow Blow-Hard Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid low-brow bullshit humor. What the hell, people? Get some shirts that are funny, but make people think about the joke. Just having a shirt that says "fuck you" isn't enough. You guys owe it to your customers to offer a better selection of smart shirts. Until then, I'll take my business elsewhere. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Self Righteous Cunt At first i wasn't even going to dignify your website with a letter, but the more i looked through your website the more i realized that this was worse than pornography. You t-shirts are what's wrong with this country. There should be laws preventing people from saying things like what your shirts say. This country was founded on God. How dare your website pretend that the founding fathers meant free speech to protect scum like yourselves? I am going to write my congressman to try to get him to make such forms of expression ilegal so we can shut filth like you down! Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Complaining Assclown I just want you to know that you guys are disgusting. I am absolutely sure that very few people if ANY are buying these horrible shirts. You can't be making any money by spreading this filth. No wonder the rest of the world hates us. Why don't you just do us all a favor and take this crap off the internet? Our Response: Fuck you, you sniveling cuntrag. We are the fucking Gods Upon a Mountain, asshole. We not only make money doing what we're doing, we make a SHITLOAD of money doing it. That probably validates either the nonexistance of God, or the existance of the Devil. I'm not sure which yet. As for the rest of the world hating us? Fuck them. We sell shirts all across the world, you wet shit-sneeze. Everyone but you loves us. Shut the fuck up, already. -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Rape Victems are Funny Hey Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Jesus Christ Wannabe I am very shocked about the material you have on your shirts . I am a man who believes in Jesus Christ how dare you guys disrespect him like that. God will shine on the just as well as the unjust.I was looking for some shirts but I will take my business else where. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: D.C. I
was just reading online about some kids who took a very docile dog and
dragged him behind a truck..needless to say the poor dog died. T-shirts
like you offer that promote violence towards animals are not funny.
Hence, you suck! Our Response: That really sucks about that dog. It also really sucks that you're a dumbfuck. A fucking t-shirt doesn't make people think about killing animals for fun, no matter what the fucking shirt says. Animal cruelty comes from sociopathic crazy fucks who got touched on their dick by their uncle when they were a little kid. Our shirts make light of horrible situations, because humor makes them easier to deal with. Plus, animals in pain always sound funny to me. Shut the fuck up. -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Pointer and Laugher Leave it to a bunch of cry baby liberals to come up with a lame ass website like yours. I understand though...you just can't seem to get your heads out of your asses can you? I feel sorry for you actually...you're like circus freaks..we just sit back, point, and laugh...Keep up the good work!!! Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: God Bless (my balls) Your
shirts are completely tasteless and offensive. I guess that is what
you want. I saw your add in my new issue of Rolling Stone and thought
that I would look you up. What kind of person are you to think that
a small little warning would keep kids off this site? It is websites
like yours that are corrupting our kids. I can't believe that you would
wear these shirts around. Who are going to be the ones to protect our
children if not the adults? God Bless Our Response: We make fun of Jesus because it's funny. If Jesus can't laugh at our jokes, than he's a pompous douchebag that I wouldn't want for my "Lord and Savior" anyway. God has a fucking sense of humor, otherwise he wouldn't have made ridiculous fucks like you for me to laugh at. Truely, we are blessed. Let us pray. "Dear God and Jesus, please forgive us for making people mad at us. Please forgive us for making people take time out of our busy fucking day by sending us dipshit emails that we have to respond to because they're too fucking idiotic to ignore. Please make their urine turn into snot, kind of like when you turned water into wine. That would be funny as fuck. Amen." -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Random Bullshit foul mouth shirts suck ass and everything you do sucks ass. get off my internet and fuck you. i ghope you guys die and never get laid again. fuck foulmouthshirts.com. im out. Our Response: -FMS
------Original Hate Mail------ From: Upset Mommy To The "Gods Upon a Mountain", I've seen the website for the shirts, and I have to say that you guys have no social manners or political correctness at all. What is with that? I heard the complaint from heaven call and I feel sorry for what you guys did to that poor lady. She was only concerned about the content of the interweb, which I have to agreee is awful these days. You cannot go anywhere without getting popups about porno and awful things that I don't want my daughter ever to see. You guys treated that lady like she was the scum of the earth, when its actualy YOU GUYS who are scum. I know you guys are going to laugh at this letter, but I don't care. It needs to be said. Be nicer to people who have complaints, because you'll run your customers off if you're so mean. Our Response: You dumb bitch, give me a fucking break. We were mean to the poor lady in the "Call From Heaven" conversation? Really? We didn't go hunting that bitch down to give her shit. She cal |