it's that time again and I have to say...We're pretty fuckin'
love me some titties. Titties of all kinds amaze me and hypnotise
me with equal ease. Big titties, small titties...it doesn't really
matter. I love the tight titties that stay up with or without
a bra, and I love those big hanger-titties that sway when I'm
fucking a girl. I love the natural titties with the big-ole pancake
nips and I love the fake titties with the pointy, pencil-eraser
nippies. I'm getting a little misty-eyed right now just thinking
such minds was the infamous Sticker-Titty contest born. We have
our famous "Fuck You" stickers that people go ape-shit
for, and we have titties...which everyone should love just as
much as I do. The idea was simple: Let's get people to FoulMouthShirts.com
with titties as BAIT! We'll get all of the hot-ass bitches who
love the FMS Empire to enter a contest where they can win $500
just for slapping some stickers over their gorgeous jugs and sending
us pictures so we can share with all the rest of the Foul Mouth
Fucks out there.
the idea was a great big-ass success, so we're doing it again.
Bigger, badder, and with even hotter bitches flocking to our call
for Sticker Titties. That makes us pretty damn happy, friends.
Pretty damn happy indeed.
here it is, sexy bitches...the Rules of the Sticker Titty Contest:
You MUST be 18 years old, or older.
We don't want any teenage chicks trying to push their pubescent
boobies in our faces, thanks anyway.
NO MAN TITTIES! Please God, no more man-titties.
That means you too, Katphish...you sick fuck.
Send us an email to email@example.com
to enter, and include your address
and name so we can get your stickers sent out post-fucking-haste.
Make sure your face is in the picture.
If you don't have your face visible, than you can't win shit.
Plain and simple. We don't want photoshopped bullshit.
Your submission becomes the property of Foul Mouth Shirts, Inc.
to be used as we see fit in our infinite fucking wisdom.
Submissions must be entered before December 31st, 2008
which is the official end of the contest. Judging will be done
from January 1st to January 15th.
Submit your pictures to the email address firstname.lastname@example.org.
Make certain you include your free
shirt selection, your shirt color, your shirt size, your name,
and your address in the email because all entries get a FREE fucking
shirt from www.foulmouthshirts.com.
The more pics you send, the better your chances
become of actually winning the contest. Send as many pics as you
want, and we'll decide which are the best of the best. Don't be
shy...we'll make sure you look as good as possible.
Take your time with your pictures. Doll yourself up.
Spend some time on your appearance, and use make-up. Decide on
what poses you want to do before you take your pictures, and spend
time making sure the quality is fucking excellent...all of which
will help you be the next $500 winner.
Be CREATIVE! We see titties all day
in all kinds of sexy poses. Try doing something no one else has
done before. Dress up in costume, or take your Sticker Titty picture
with a police officer or a fireman! Go somewhere public, like
the park or the beach! Be outrageous and brave, woman! You'll
be rewarded for your effort and genius, we assure you.
Larger file sizes are best. Don't
send us tiny, little-bitty Sticker-Titty pictures. Send us the
biggest pictures you can with your entry email to email@example.com.
Think SEXY, not SILLY and don't forget to SMILE!
It's hard to pull off the neutral-faced sexy pose, and typically...only
professional models can really do it without looking pissed-off.
We don't want shit-loads of pictures with pissed-off looking bitches
who look like they want to castrate us. We want sexy, happy chicks...so
Nipples have to be completely covered! We're
not trying to get porn here....just tasteful pictures of sticker-clad
it. Those are the helpful rules I've submitted to you sexy fucks
to help you win this little thing we call The Sticker Titty Contest!
Show us what you have, ladies! Literally! Use everything at your
disposal: props, friends, landscaping, the pool boy, boobs...and
ESPECIALLY your brains!