WIN $1000 CASH!!

Well, it's that time again and I have to say...We're pretty fuckin' excited.

I love me some titties. Titties of all kinds amaze me and hypnotise me with equal ease. Big titties, small doesn't really matter. I love the tight titties that stay up with or without a bra, and I love those big hanger-titties that sway when I'm fucking a girl. I love the natural titties with the big-ole pancake nips and I love the fake titties with the pointy, pencil-eraser nippies. I'm getting a little misty-eyed right now just thinking about it.

From such minds was the infamous Sticker-Titty contest born. We have our famous "Fuck You" stickers that people go ape-shit for, and we have titties...which everyone should love just as much as I do. The idea was simple: Let's get people to with titties as BAIT! We'll get all of the hot-ass bitches who love the FMS Empire to enter a contest where they can win $500 just for slapping some stickers over their gorgeous jugs and sending us pictures so we can share with all the rest of the Foul Mouth Fucks out there.

Well, the idea was a great big-ass success, so we're doing it again. Bigger, badder, and with even hotter bitches flocking to our call for Sticker Titties. That makes us pretty damn happy, friends. Pretty damn happy indeed.

So here it is, sexy bitches...the Rules of the Sticker Titty Contest:

1) You MUST be 18 years old, or older. We don't want any teenage chicks trying to push their pubescent boobies in our faces, thanks anyway.

2) NO MAN TITTIES! Please God, no more man-titties. That means you too, sick fuck.

3) Send us an email to [email protected] to enter, and include your address and name so we can get your stickers sent out post-fucking-haste.

4) Make sure your face is in the picture. If you don't have your face visible, than you can't win shit. Plain and simple. We don't want photoshopped bullshit.

5) Your submission becomes the property of Foul Mouth Shirts, Inc. to be used as we see fit in our infinite fucking wisdom.

6) Submissions must be entered before December 31st, 2008 which is the official end of the contest. Judging will be done from January 1st to January 15th.

7) Submit your pictures to the email address [email protected]. Make certain you include your free shirt selection, your shirt color, your shirt size, your name, and your address in the email because all entries get a FREE fucking shirt from

8) The more pics you send, the better your chances become of actually winning the contest. Send as many pics as you want, and we'll decide which are the best of the best. Don't be shy...we'll make sure you look as good as possible.

9) Take your time with your pictures. Doll yourself up. Spend some time on your appearance, and use make-up. Decide on what poses you want to do before you take your pictures, and spend time making sure the quality is fucking excellent...all of which will help you be the next $500 winner.

10) Be CREATIVE! We see titties all day in all kinds of sexy poses. Try doing something no one else has done before. Dress up in costume, or take your Sticker Titty picture with a police officer or a fireman! Go somewhere public, like the park or the beach! Be outrageous and brave, woman! You'll be rewarded for your effort and genius, we assure you.

11) Larger file sizes are best. Don't send us tiny, little-bitty Sticker-Titty pictures. Send us the biggest pictures you can with your entry email to [email protected].

12) Think SEXY, not SILLY and don't forget to SMILE! It's hard to pull off the neutral-faced sexy pose, and typically...only professional models can really do it without looking pissed-off. We don't want shit-loads of pictures with pissed-off looking bitches who look like they want to castrate us. We want sexy, happy SMILE.

13) Nipples have to be completely covered! We're not trying to get porn here....just tasteful pictures of sticker-clad boobs.

That's it. Those are the helpful rules I've submitted to you sexy fucks to help you win this little thing we call The Sticker Titty Contest! Show us what you have, ladies! Literally! Use everything at your disposal: props, friends, landscaping, the pool boy, boobs...and ESPECIALLY your brains!